New Beginnings
by Casandra
Summary: Post series finale. Dawn and Faith enjoy the ride into the great unknown beyond Sunnydale.


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Title: New Beginning

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Author: Casandra

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Email: Casandra@fanforum.com

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Disclaimer: Well unfortunately I don't own em. That right belongs to Joss, Mutant Enemy, Fox, and other people that aren't me.

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Rating: PG-13, just for slashy content.

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Warning: If the thought of two consenting woman being in a relationship bothers you, this isn't your cup of tea. 

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Distribution: You can find my work at Realm Of The Shadow(www.realmoftheshadow.com) Anybody who wants it, feel free, just drop me a line to let me know where you're taking it.

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Feedback: I'll give you a cookie. Ok, well maybe not, but I'd love to know if you liked it. Or not so much. So drop me a note.

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Spoilers: Mainly anything from 'Dirty Girls' through the series finale. But anything tends to be fair game with me, so be forewarned.

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Pairing: Dawn/Faith

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Summary: Post series finale. Dawn and Faith enjoy the ride into the great unknown beyond Sunnydale.

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Author's Note: Ok, this is my first venture outside the Buffy/Willow side of things in the Buffyverse. I've been loving Faith/Dawn ever since I began reading Chimera Bloom's fic, and I finally decided to try my hand at a little snippet of something. In Dawn's POV.

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She's breathtaking.

Yes, I've known that for years now, only now am I finally admitting that I've known it all these years. From the moment Faith walked into my life I've been drawn to her for some inexplicable reason. Like a bell that only I could hear, every time she moved my senses would snap to attention and my gaze would follow her. I loved that Christmas that she stayed with us. She was dressed up in a skirt and about as girly as she'd ever get. And I couldn't help thinking how much more enticing she was in her leather pants and wife beaters. I should have known then already that I was falling for her. But I had no point of reference. Not to mention I was what, 13? The idea that I could be into a member of the same sex was something that never once crossed my mind at that age. I pushed aside my constant thoughts of her as nothing more than idolization. She was so strong, so incredibly comfortable with herself. Little did I know about the conflict and turmoil burning so fiercely just underneath the surface of it all.

I thought I knew her. We spent quite a bit of time together. Time that Buffy wasn't aware of, even to this day that I know of. Faith would come over and visit me on occasion before her nightly whatever it was that she did. Hunting seems to be the most appropriate term for it. She never patrolled, it was a lot more like prowling than anything else. We'd sit out on the back porch in those old oversized wooden chairs, my inquisitive mind always working overtime about the latest demon she fought or vamp she dusted. That's one of the things I loved most about Faith, she never treated me like a stupid kid, too young to hear about the terrors of the Hellmouth. I suppose she figured that as long as I lived on top of it, I might as well be informed. Buffy never saw things that way. She was determined for me to know as little as possible about her line of work. And needless to say I was not happy about it. So Faith was like a godsend to me when it came to my curiosity. I can't even remember the number of nights we sat out there, always for at least an hour, talking about anything from green demon guts to Buffy's non boyfriend Scott Hope. I really loved spending that time with her. It made me feel a part of the Slayer story somehow, even though I realize now that Faith was just as much on the outside as I was, she just happened to have the inside scoop, where I never did. I felt special, because here she was, an adult, not to mention a wicked cool adult, hanging out with a thirteen year old kid of a friend of hers. I never could figure that out, but I wasn't knocking it, no way, if she wanted to spend time with me there was no way in the world I was going to argue with the fates for seeing to it. I had really felt like I had gotten to know her. Sure she never shared amazingly painful secrets, and she didn't talk much about her past at all. But despite that, I felt like we connected, and I realize *now* that during those nights under the stars I ended up falling in love with her.

And that's why it crushed me when I found out that she had betrayed us all by conspiring with the Mayor. I should have known something was wrong, and even to this day I have to wonder if maybe, just maybe, if I would have figured it out then what I know now we might have avoided the entire situation. The night Buffy stopped Faith from leaving town, the night Faith saved Buffy's life down on the docks, she came to my window. I was worried about her before that. Even being out of the loop, I knew she was in some kind of trouble. I could tell. Buffy was being more secretive than usual, and Faith hadn't been by to see me in almost a week. And as had become our custom, I'd see her at the very least every other night. Add into the fact that it seemed that Buffy and Willow were on the outs a bit and it spelled major trouble. Buffy and Willow were pretty much tied at the hip since we moved to Sunnydale, so for them to be not getting along was something major. And I knew Faith was playing a role in it, because it was no secret Willow was not a fan of hers. Now that Willow has come out and we know that she's into the girl/girl loving, I'm convinced she was jealous of the attention Buffy was giving to Faith. For all I know she thought the two of them were sleeping together. Ok eww, bad visual. God I hope they weren't sleeping together! I never thought to ask, and I know even if I had I never would have gotten an honest answer. More like a slap upside the head Slayer style. And honestly, I don't even want to know. It's not something I need to keep picturing. 

But Faith DID come to me that particular night. She had never come to my window, always just knocking on the back door, where I had been anticipating her arrival and had the ice filled soda's already in hand. So needless to say I was surprised. And worried out of my head. I let her in and for a while she just paced around my room, reminding me very much like a caged tiger. I got tired of waiting for her to explain what was going on, so I just sat back down on my bed and watched her, taking in every curve, every play of muscle underneath her skin tight clothes. She had come to say goodbye to me that night. Because she knew she was going to change sides. She had already made up her mind. Saving Buffy didn't matter, she felt she had no other choice but to turn to the Mayor. And if I had known that at the time, I would have tried everything in the book to change her mind. And for years now I've wondered if I would have succeeded.

They say there is a thin line between love and hate. I believe it. Because for months after Faith fell off that building I warred with myself on whether or not to visit her in the hospital. I cared about her deeply, even after all that she had done to us. Betrayal is one of the worst feelings a person can experience. And hers was especially bitter because I never once saw it coming until it was too late. I loved and I hated her, all at the same time. For leaving me, for using me, for never really caring about me, I hated her with a passion. But I still loved her desperately, despite the terror she raged on my family and friends. And it confused me to no end. So I never once went to see her. And I still hate myself for not being a less selfish person and just swallowing my pride, my hatred, and letting the love reign over my heart, even for the few minutes it would take to just place a kiss on her forehead.

Eventually she was forgotten. At least out loud. No one mentioned her, everyone pretended that she was a problem never to be heard from again. Even after the body switch, which thankfully I was not around for. I don't think I could have dealt with seeing Faith hold my mother hostage in our own home. Great night to pick a sleepover with Janice. Although I do wonder if she would have held me at knifepoint too if I had been in the house. Something tells me maybe not. But that may be the clouded wishful thinking of a young woman desperate to believe the friend she knew before it all went bad is still in there. And I know now that she is, that the woman I've loved for the last 4 years is really in that tough exterior that she presents to the outside world. 

When she showed up in Sunnydale, straight from a 3 year stint in the state system I honestly wasn't sure how to react. So I went with what felt so unresolved and so pent up. Anger. Rage. I never wanted her to see how badly she hurt me. So I used sarcasm and cruel words to protect myself. And I swear I saw her flinch when she finally looked me in the eye. Something passed over her features, something very similar to regret. Of course she hid it well, coming back with one of her typical crass replies. Something about me being all woman sized. Punctuating it with her trademark leer. Not that I minded of course, but was she serious? That's what I wonder now. Was she just covering the fact that my words hurt her, or was she really interested in the fact that I've matured and now have 'womanly' features she might covet. 

After a few days I managed to calm my out of control hot and cold emotions around her. But that night at the Bronze certainly didn't help things. We all were cutting loose, Faith included. And things got a tad bit out of control. Besides the fact Faith got into it with evilly possessed cops, before that things were starting to steam up. All of us were dancing in a group, but Faith had sidled up to me early on and we were bumping and grinding more so with each other than any of the other potentials. Things were just starting to come to a head, and I knew that if she kept grinding her hips into my back any longer I was going to reach around, tangle my fingers in her long dark hair, and drown myself in her mouth. So it was with mixed feelings that the night ended so abruptly. Something was passing between us that night though, I could feel it. It wasn't the same connection I felt years ago. It was different. Stronger somehow, deeper. Almost like our bodies were in perfect sync with each other, we were sharing the same space, the same energy. I felt so consumed with my want for her. More than I had even with RJ, and that was a spell. This was my own pent up emotion, my own lust, and it was intended solely for her. And I could feel it, she wanted me too. Probably not nearly as much as I wanted her, but the heat was there. In her touch, in the electricity that coursed between our bodies every time we shifted in our rhythm. So my teenage hormone induced mind can only imagine what would have happened out on that dance floor had she not pulled away. Maybe she got scared, maybe she was just into protective Slayer mode and wanted to keep an eye on the Potentials. I don't know, and I haven't had the courage to bring it up with her. Not that we've really had the time to sit down and have a deep and meaningful lately. It's been nothing short of chaotic since that night. I thank whatever deity is pulling the strings up there though for bringing Faith through the latest Apocalypse in one piece. Thank them for bringing her back to me.

So here I sit, in the back of a rumbling Sunnydale High school bus, watching the desert pass by me, mile by bleak, sandy mile. Occasionally I turn my head forward to catch a glimpse of Faith. She's been up front for a while now, sitting with Principle Wood and redressing his wounds. I know they slept together. They weren't quiet about it in the least bit. The only reason the entire house didn't hear them together is because they were paying too much attention to the noises Willow and Kennedy and Xander and Anya were making. But I could tell. I would know Faith in any crowd, in any din. Of course I was jealous, but what could I expect? No matter what passed between us at the Bronze, I'm still Buffy's little sister. And she was in Buffy's house. Buffy wasn't there, but everyone else was. Even if, and that's a major IF, she would have wanted me instead, it never could have happened. Not then anyway. She had to find comfort someone. But I can still be jealous, especially since she's been spending all her time since Sunnydale crashed into the Hellmouth looking after Mr. Principal. She did reach out and touch my shoulder as we were all looking into the chasm that used to be our home. But it was quick, almost a reassurance just to let each other know that we were still there. And that fast she removed her hand, from fear of someone noticing, or fear of her own emotions, I don't know. 

"Can I grab a seat D, I need to take a load off for a few." I'm pulled from my musings when I hear her husky voice drift down from where she's standing above me. Must be that Slayer stealth I've heard so much about, because I never even noticed her approach, which is rare in and of itself.

"What do I care?" Might as well use indifference. I don't want her knowing just how her mere closeness to me causes a thousand different feelings to tingle up and down my spine.

"Look Dawn, do you want me to sit down or should I go find someplace else?" She sounds weary, one of the very few things I've never heard inflected in her tone before today.

"Sit." One word, so many complications could come from it.

She mumbles a quiet thank you and proceeds to virtually collapse next to me on the vinyl seat. She rests the back of her head against it and closes her eyes, pulling in and then releasing a long deep breath. The position she's in and with her eyes being closed leaves me free to travel my gaze along her body. I take in all the curves, all the visible scars. And I see all the new cuts and bruises she has from this latest battle for our lives. She's going to be really sore tomorrow, that much is crystal clear. I feel my eyes get heavy eventually, so I close them, mirroring her position on the seat.

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"Are you cozy down there?" I can hear the sarcasm without even looking up into her face. I don't know how I managed it, whether it be a subconscious thing or not, but I ended up snuggling myself up to her. My head is resting against her upper chest and my left arm is wrapped snuggly around her waist. But what's even more surprising is that she's holding me to her, softly stroking my hair. I can feel my muscles protesting the position already, and even though I'm loathe to do it, I go to pull out of her embrace. But she's not letting me go. Huh. No complaining from this side of the camp. "It's ok Dawnie, just go back to sleep."

She hasn't called me Dawnie in years. It was always her little nickname for me. That is until everyone else started calling me that. It sort of lost it's specialness after that, but still, hearing it come from her lips is one of the sweetest things I could imagine. But I should really remove myself, because her hand stroking my hair and gliding up and down my back is starting to feel way too good. "No Faith, I must be hurting you." Ok, well you can see I didn't really want to get up. I mean me, hurting her, a Slayer? Not likely. And I can tell that she knows I'm only protesting out of obligation, because she softly snorts, a sound that would be unpleasant coming from anyone else but her, and strengthens her hold around me. It's more like a hug than anything else now. And I can't help it, I know we just left a major catastrophe and fought once again for our very lives, but I feel the most protected I've ever felt. And I know it's because I'm in her arms. I always felt protected by her, it may sound crazy, but it's true.

"Are you ok? I know in all the craziness going on I didn't get a chance to check on ya." Aww, that almost sounded like an apology. Plus, she's worried about me too, that's a good sign!  
  
"Yeah I'm fine, just a little nick here, possibly a bump or two there. Nothing major." I pause for a minute, lifting my head from it's cozy resting spot on her upper chest to take in her appearance again. Her jacket is off, it is rather stuffy in here now that I take notice. I reach out and trace a nasty gash on her upper arm, right above her tribal tattoo. She flinches at the contact, whether it be from pain or her hesitancy of my touch I'm not sure. "Are you ok? That's a really deep cut Faith, did you have Giles look at it?" I'm sure she doesn't appreciate me going all mother hen on her, but the wound is pretty bad, and it's still seeping.

"D, I lasted 3 years in prison. This is nothing. No worries, I'm five by five." I sharply turn my eyes away from her arm where I was fascinated by the involuntary flexing of her muscles underneath the skin when she says that. Five by five. That's a phrase I haven't heard in such a long time. I always thought it was cute, even if I never had a clue what it really meant. Of course you don't tell the badass Slayer that you think her slang is cute. Unless of course you want your butt to end up in a sling. But it occurs to me now that she still is an escaped convict. Whether or not she was broken out for the good of the entire planet or not, she still escaped. And it scares me to think that we might be separated again, just after it seemed we might be finding our way back. And who knows what else could lie in the future. She seems perfectly content to snuggle up here in the back of the bus with me. Could it be possible she cares just as much for me as I do for her? Or am I again hanging on to lofty teenage aspirations of romantic grandeur. Yikes, I knew that creative writing class was going to rub off the wrong way. Romantic grandeur?

"If you're sure? I could go get some bandages from Giles......." She stops my rise from the seat with a gentle hand.

"Dawn, sit down and rest, it's gonna be a rough coupla days until we get everyone all fixed up. Then who knows where your sis is gonna drag you off to. Might as well catch some z's while you can." I noticed how she didn't include herself when she said about Buffy's plans for the future. That must mean one of two things. She's either getting out of Slayer central or she's going back to prison. Voluntarily. Because I've seen the change. She's become a stand up person. She's fighting for the right side again. And she's trying her damndest to atone for her crimes of the past. So really, I don't think I need to ask, because I'm pretty sure her reasoning is the latter, not the former. And that scares me almost as much as The First.

"You're going back, aren't you?" I don't think she expected me to be able to read her that well, because she looks truly startled at my comment. And yes, it was a comment, because I already know the answer, but I have to hear it from her lips.

"What're you talkin' about?" Feigning nonchalance, definite Faith defense mechanism.

"You know exactly what I mean Faith. You're going to turn yourself back in, aren't you?" Again, not a question. She sighs in recognition and resignation. Her shoulders slump back and I resettle myself in the seat beside her, no longer leaning against her.

"I have to Dawn." She barely more than whispers. She raises her dark eyes up to meet mine and I'm beyond shocked to find tears glistening in them. She's the only friend I've ever had who I've never seen cry. She's always had this tough as nails exterior, nothing and no one could break down that veneer. 

"Why?" I gently reach up and cup her cheek, surprised yet again that she doesn't shrug my hand away. It's a small question, but I already know the answer. She's grown so much in those three years she was locked away in there. And honestly, even though I am very biased, I think she's repented and paid her dues twice over. Did you see any other convicts down there in the Hellmouth fighting to save the very life of humanity itself? Didn't think so.

"How can you ask me that?! You almost more than anyone should be mad as hell at me after everything I put you all through. I'm a killer Dawn, I murdered somebody, and I set you all up to be the Mayor's lunch. Not to mention the fact that I betrayed your trust and friendship in me more than anyone's. *That's* why I have to go back." Well I think that was the most she's ever said in one breath. And she really does have a point. But I'm still not caring here. I want her to stay. I bet a lot of the gang does too, now that they've seen she's on our side again. But it comes down to the fact that I don't want to lose her. Especially by her own choice.

"Please don't Faith." If anything, that will at least tell her that I forgive her for the things she's done to us.

"Why?" Another simple question, and the only answer I have is to bear my heart to her. And honestly? Really not wanting to do that.

"We can get Willow to hack into the California prison system and erase your records, or parole you, or something. You don't have to go back there!"

Or instead of admitting I love her, I can dodge.

"I honestly have to admit I never thought of that. When did you get so sneaky, D?" She's laughing and its like music to my ears. But hey! I think she's making fun of me! I ignore her though and plough on.

"So, what do you say then? I know Willow can do it. Plus, I'm sure after everything you've done to help us lately she'd be willing to help you out. That is if she can get her hands on another computer, I think her IMac is probably trashed." Yeah, in the Hellmouth. Here's hoping demons aren't PC literate.

"Willow's what?" I know Faith's not the most technologically conscious person in the world, but even she knows what an IMac is. Which means she's dodging the same way I've been.

"You know what I mean. Now come on, are you going to stay with us?" Well now, that was rather blatant. I'm not just asking her not to go back to prison, I'm asking her to stay with the rest of us. Together. With me.

"Why are you so eager for me to stay Dawnie?" She has that teasing quality to her voice again, and I have to wonder if she knows me better than I think she does. That could mean trouble. But if she *does* know, then maybe the truth is the best way to proceed. Besides, what's the worst that could happen? She could go back to jail. And she's already considering doing that now, so what could it hurt?

"I miss you Faith." There, I said it. Or well, part of it. It's true, I did miss her. While everyone else forgot about her, I didn't. Even after everything that she did, I still missed her. She pulls me into another hug, with my head once again resting on her ample cleavage. Her scent is intoxicating, even mixed in with the sweat and grime of the day's activities. She starts to stroke up and down my back again.

"I missed you too kid." Now that does not settle well with me. Can't she see I'm no kid?

"Don't call me that. I'm not a kid anymore!"  
  
She stops stroking and I look up into her eyes in question. "I know you're not. Like I said, you got all sorts of nice girly parts now." There's that trademark leer again. I don't know what made me do it, pent up frustration, the stress of the battle. But I reached up around her neck and pulled her head towards mine, claiming her lips with my own in a steamy kiss. The moment our lips crashed into each other I felt it, like something clicked into place after so many years of being trapped into somewhere it was never meant to be. But it's finally where it belongs. *I'm* finally where I belong. After long moments of her returning my embrace, nipping my bottom lip on the retreat she pulls away, looking into my eyes. "Are you sure Dawnie?"

"I've never been more sure of anything." And it's the truth. In my life full of craziness, this is one thing I'm positive about. I love Faith, and I want to be with her for as long as we have together. No doubts. No questions. Only my truth. Our truth.

She smiles a lopsided almost girlish smile, bends forward and places a gentle sweet kiss against my swollen pink lips. Then she pulls me to her breast, cradling me and stroking my hair once again. We lay like that for a long time, how long I can't tell. I think she figured I fell asleep, because she buries her face in my hair and ever so softly whispers, "I'm so sorry baby."

Without breaking our embrace I reach up with my left hand and cradle her head against mine. "I love you." I feel her jerk a bit in surprise but then she relaxes and turns her head so that my hand is now cupping her right cheek. That should tell her all she needs to know. I love her. I forgive her.

"Ditto." 

"So does that mean you're gonna stay? With me?" I'm hesitant. I mean she didn't exactly return the sentiment, but she sort of did. Does that make any sense? But no matter what we've just shared, I have to make sure.

"Well I gotta make sure that my girl gets into college and all that shit don't I? Cause you know Buffy is probably gonna be too busy getting used to sitting on her ass doing a big ole nothing. Who else is gonna take care of ya and make sure your doing all that academic stuff that I managed to wiggle out of?" I think there was a yes in there somewhere. And hey! I'm her girl! Whoo!

I lean up again and kiss her on the cheek. "Thank you, Faith."

My home just got sucked into the ground, my entire life as I knew it is over. And I'm happy. Because of Faith. Wait till Buffy finds out................

Finis


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